babinscreams

I'm wrapping up a six day visit to Doug in which I've been video taping interviews with many people who are in Doug's universe here in Salt Lake City. The primary purpose of the taped interviews is to make a short film about Doug's condition and his coping without health insurance. I come away with two observations to pass on. First, Doug is in better condition than when I was here in May. The surgery to vent the fluid that had collected around his left lung combined with medication has made it much easier for him to breathe. He is undergoing chemo treatments for the cancer and taking a slew of meds to combat symptoms from that, the disease, and the tube that remains in his chest. Secondly, I'm left with the comfort of having met so many really great, warm, appreciate friends of Doug. I know he is loved and fortunate indeed to have them near by. If all goes according to plan, the short film will be used in the health care debate now going on in Washington, D. C....

This is not an appeal for more donations . Though several thousand dollars have been contributed by generous people like you, the fact is that Doug's medical bills are now up around $30,000. The good news is that creative, hard working people are coming up with a plan to raise more funds. Meanwhile, the Social Security system has given Doug the "business as usual" treatment. After suffering hours of hold time and information collection, then not calling back when they said they would, they've lost his file and suggested that Doug needs to start from scratch in this process that takes months in the best of circumstances. At one point, a person whose expertise is negotiating this morass was working with Doug, but that person has mysteriously dropped out of the picture. Here is what Doug really needs at the moment: 1. Someone to advise him on how to manage the mounting medical bills . Strategies for maintaining solvency for as long as possible. 2. Someone to help ...

Doug Wright - The biopsy from surgery identified my cancer as "poorly differentiated non-small cell adenocarcinoma", and I have qualified to participate in a chemotherapy research trial which I will begin this Tuesday, June 23. The pharmaceutical company provides the drugs and I pay for the scans every three week cycle to determine its effectiveness. These are ct scans of my brain, chest and abdomen, to see if the cancer has spread. To qualify for the trial, these had to be negative. I'm a little disappointed that I don't have cancer in my brain, since this seemed like an ideal way of avoiding responsibility.

Doug Wright - On May 26 I had surgery to relieve the compression of my left lung by fluid in the pleural cavity. I can now relieve any future accumulation by mean of a catheter in my side, and the pleural tissue may scar over so that less fluid is produced. I received wonderful care from my surgeon and the nursing staff at IMC, and my recovery has been quick and painless. Yesterday evening, Friday May 29, was the most powerful experience of my life. A fundraising "celebration" for me was held at Westminster, with over 100 people in attendance. There were musical performances by the Chamber singers, Chris Le Cluyse, and my homies Tim Dolan and Tom Cronin, including a spontaneous and beautiful a capella solo by a student. The music was exquisite. The event was attended by my former students, colleagues, and friends among the staff at Westminster. I sat quietly listening to one after another describe how I had touched their lives, and I was overcome. When I tried to spea...

Doug Wright - Friday May 8, two liters of fluid were drained from my pleural cavity, relieving my breath, and allowing me to function more normally. This afternoon, May 11, the oncologist suggested that we wait and see how symptoms develop. He examined me and said, "Right now I don't see anything that will take you in six months." We scheduled a return in one month. Of course, this is very encouraging.

Tell us how Doug touched your life.  

Doug says to me today, "I realized this afternoon, that I've got to get back to writing. I have a deadline."

Lots of Helping Hand s: http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/613782/login/ . When you're available to help Doug with occasional day to day tasks. Doug's own web site (still in the works) where you can read his poetry and see his visual arts. http://movingarts.us/index.html

Doug, 1973. I'm certain Doug was focused on painting. He was living in an apartment in Orange with his mom and attending Cal State Fullerton. This Kodachrome film, balanced for day light rendered a Rembrandt-like warmth when exposed under tungsten light. Below: Doug, May 5, 2009 circa 1985, Doug clutches a hapless Booger May. Baseball Homies Here's some photos taken a couple of years ago at a Bees game, in fabled Section 102 (or was it 104?) A motley assortment of Westminster types outside "Delta House," most of us (although not, of course, Doug) in our requisite tweed jackets with leather elbow patches. Paul and Doug 1973. This was taken in the back yard of the Mellon's house, our home away from home. Paul had just returned from art school, and as a "gift" to his mother, cut his hair. The expressions on their faces, though seemly homo-erotic, were but expressions of youthful debauchery and glee. Doug in his studio, 1974 paint sketch by Paul Babi n

June 21 update This is not an appeal for more donations . Though several thousand dollars have been contributed by generous people like you, the fact is that Doug's medical bills are now up around $30,000. The good news is that creative, hard working people are coming up with a plan to raise more funds. Meanwhile, the Social Security system has given Doug the "business as usual" treatment. After suffering hours of hold time and information collection, then not calling back when they said they would, they've lost his file and suggested that Doug needs to start from scratch in this process that takes months in the best of circumstances. At one point, a person whose expertise is negotiating this morass was working with Doug, but that person has mysteriously dropped out of the picture. Here is what Doug really needs at the moment: 1. Someone to advise him on how to manage the mounting medical bills . Strategies for maintaining solvency for as long as possib...

This is the first of a dozen or so posts by Doug Wright on a blog I created for him. I've imported all the content of Doug's blog and will note where Doug was posting. Doug Wright - On May 1 I was informed that I have adenocarcinoma. It is in both lungs, prmarily the left. It is diffuse and spread widely enough that neither surgery nor radiation are viable treatments. There are two types of this cancer. Chemotherapy can slow its spread, but only has a 30% - 40% chance of response in one type, and 10% - 20% in the other. If the chemo were effective, it could prolong my life expectancy from 12 to 18 months. Untreated, the average life expectancy at this point is 6 months. My oncologist is currently working with radiology to try to identify which type it is. The symptoms are dry coughs and constricted breathing. I am currently treating the former with a fairly effective cough suppressant, and the latter with an inhaler. My lack of breath makes all walking difficult, and I ...

Thursday night slept at Rob's. First night of sleep near 7 hours. Spoke with Michele who suggested in rational tones the she wanted to tell Elliot, that I never darken the doorway again other to get my stuff, and that she wanted to sell the house after he left for school. I spoke with a mediator - E. Carroll Straus. Spoke again with Michele who told me she was serving me with divorce papers. Met with Hartley, and showed her "2,4,6". Her response was so positive she had me show it again to her friend Gail and her daughter Heather. Gail puts money into films, and her daughter is an actress. The response after the second showing was even stronger. There was much discussion and a feeling of genuine success with my work. Spent the night at Paul Bronston's. Am going to call Jim Klein, since two phone calls have gone un returned from Mira.

My meeting with Hartley was a misunderstanding and will take place on Thursday. I spent most of the day trying to make a DVD of "2,4,6" without success. Called Michele to ask if she could give me a warning, I'd not be home when she arrived. Cleaned up my work space, put away the table that's been up all year. Michele finally called around 6:30 to say she was "30 seconds away". She was angry and vindictive. Fifteen minutes later, she arrived as I was trying to get out. No more than cold stares were exchanged. I went to Bronston's house for friendship and consolation. He confirmed with Mark Granoff's friend, a lawyer, Susan Carter, that Fred Glassman is an ethical lawyer. She also refered to Jim Klein, esq - 310-477-1029. Paul talked about the importance of maintaining an unblemished ethical standard through this process, and I agreed. Spent the night at Rob's house. Had trouble going to sleep. Slept for an hour, woke, couldn't fall back until ...

Slept until 10:30 in the shithole Travel Lodge. Spoke with Doug and Larry Wright. At the house now, I'm making a DVD of my film to show to Michele Hartley at 6:30. Have been online researching the divorce options. Literature from Glassman , et al has arrived by mail. I'm thinking I should hold off leaving it for her until her rage has diminished somewhat. But then, not putting this alternative in front of her could cause her to get a litigation attorney . I can't find the Sansa recorder. I wished I'd had it last night when she was threatening me with violence.

I went over to Del's tonight to show her my film. She was very moved by it. Michele called me and told me not to come back to the house. She made threats of destroying my stuff "with a baseball bat". She hung up on me. Del told me to hang out, and we watched "The Departed" . I got home about midnight. Michele had taken my luggage, camera bag and put them on the back stoop. I moved everything back into Kate's room and tried to burn a DVD of my film for showing tomorrow. Michele came down and told me to leave. She walked over and threatened to pull the two hard drives off the desk. She baited me. "I'll get you so mad, you'll hit me, then I can call the cops." She kept using the word "ego" in context of harassing me (she's reading a book about ego and unhappiness). I was like a non-violent protester, shielding myself in expectation of fists and clubs. I tried to find the Sansa recorder, but couldn't. I left and spent 90 minut...

My marriage, for so long limping on knarled feet is formally coming to an end. I will keep my notes here on the process, for my own sake and maybe others. Mary-Claire Mira from Mayer, Glassman & Gaines LLP (310-207-0007) tells me to move back in the house! Of course, duh, it's my house too. She says my inheritance is safe with some exceptions, those being the extent to which we took care of household expenses with it. She says mediated settlements run 1/4 to 1/3 the amount of a litigated settlement. It's called "collaborative law". Both sides have to agree neither will take the case to court. An "interest based" settlement is reached. A neutral accountant is hired to asses everything. our pensions are community property I would be looking at spousal support If Michele stays in the house, she pays expenses like the mortgage. I could continue to pay the mortage and take the deduction. spousal support is tax deductable "What's best for both of us?...

Two years today. The crisp reality of that morning remains vivid. Dad, I can go for a day now without thinking about you. What never fades however is the sense of growth, experience, life-force that somehow entered my being that morning. I was holding your hand as you died. I felt you go. It's as though the last movement you made, a nervous spasm of your entire body, was in fact a transfer of spirit from your being to mine . You live on in me. It's good to have you so close. I still long to share with you my "accomplishments" only because they would impress the shit out of you. And like the lowliest puppy, I lived for your acknowledgement and praise.

I just saw the movie by Clint Eastwood about the men who fought on Iwo Jima in WW2 and the story behind the iconographic photo of the flag raising atop Mt. Suribachi. It's a powerful movie that pulls back the curtain on the realities of war and it's toll on the young people who die or who return with deamons that never go away. It holds up to the light the propaganda campaigns that are waged in all wars to maintain the moral and financial support of the citizenry. And like Saving Pvt. Ryan, it portrays the world of my generation's parents, their quiet sacrafice, naiveness, and scars. In the final scene, the main character, now an elderly guy on his hospital death bed apologizes to his son for not having been a better dad. The son responds, "you were the best a son could have ever wanted". All the details of this scene right down to the pattern on the hospital smock reminded me of the the last few days with Dad. The way he faded in and out of consciousness. The way...

My daughter Kathryn left the nest today. Suitcase and cell phone in hand, she boarded an airplane with her mother to begin attending school in San Francisco. Kathryn is an extraordinary young woman in her resilience, her compassion, and ability to maneuver the hurdles of being a 21 year old on planet earth. I love watching her at this age as she increasingly stands on her own to embrace and confront the world. Her passions, for that matter anyone’s passions, are life-giving. She has a moral center that is solid. She will be a giver. At precisely the same age Kate is now, I too left the nest to live and school in the Bay Area. With my 1965 VW Beetle packed to the gills I waved goodbye to my parents who stood waving from the porch on Hawkhurst Drive. My father cried. His parting gift was a six pack of 16oz. Colt 45’s, which I proceeded to drink entirely on the drive north. He told me after that he was afraid he’d never see me again, which I apparently was intent on by consuming the malt ...

Click the title or the link at the bottom to see the first posting on this blog. It will give you context for what follows. Click on these two pages; they will expand into a larger window and be easier to read. http://www.whoknoze.blogspot.com/2005_03_06_whoknoze_archive.html