in the crosshairs
In mass last Sunday, I found myself taking the communion wafer from the man who sponsored me when I became a Catholic in 2000. He is a gentle soul, a life-long Catholic who attends mass every week and serves communion, "The expressions on people's faces is extraordinary."
The ritual of Mass often opens my emotional sluices, but last Sunday I was primed. As I took that dry wafer, muttered "Amen", heard my friend say my name, the profound sense of father-loss washed over me.
The ritual of Mass often opens my emotional sluices, but last Sunday I was primed. As I took that dry wafer, muttered "Amen", heard my friend say my name, the profound sense of father-loss washed over me.
Comments
~Sigmund Freud
Liz, you've uncovered one of the great ironies in my life, that of my embracing an organized religion, even worse - the Catholic flavor.
As you know, Dad was a atheist, a loud and proud one. He was never shy about letting people know his views. For the first 30 years of my life I too embraced the skeptical view of those for whom evidence is a requisite for belief. Then, at the age of 32, the haze of denial lifted and I understood and accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic. The program for dealing with that said I had to accept that there was a "higher power" and give over to that power the ability to help me recover.
That was a really uncomfortable moment for me. I had trouble letting the word "God" pass my lips. In fact, when Michele and I were married, a Catholic ceremony at St. Monica's which I qualified for by having been baptized Greek Orthodox, I asked the priest who would conduct the ceremony if we could get through it without mentioning the word God. His expression was priceless.
Accepting that there was a higher power that would take some of the pressure when all seemed hopeless was a procedure that worked. Call it self-hypnosis, self-delusion, whatever, it worked. I'm now 21 years sober.
One month after getting sober, Michele said she was pregnant and my course-correction became inalterable. Both of our kids were baptized at St. Monica's and as often as she could, Michele would drag me to church where I reluctantly sat bored and recalcitrant.
Over time, the ritual, the place that was St. Monica's (both kids went to school there), and the words of the monsignor running the joint generated a sense of home to me. All that remained was to formalize my participation in the dance. As I went through the process of becoming a Catholic and even today, I find it hard to believe what I've done. I feel very little allegiance to the formal institution represented by all those men in red hats. St. Monica's parish here in Southern California is one of the most liberal in the world where the themes of "fear not, you are loved unconditionally, and all are welcome" is paramount.
Both of my kids have rejected Catholicism because of the institutional hypocrisy. I couldn't be more proud of them. They have in their back pockets a faith system and ritual they can fall back on whenever they need. Maybe they won't ever return to this brand of Christianity. Maybe Taoism or Islam or atheism is in their future, but they will no doubt have a more enriching experience for having grown up with a faith ritual.
"What are your thoughts on Richard Dawkins' reflection on religion that 'truth comes from evidence not inherited tradition'?"
(Your original response had the word "mythology" in the place of "tradition". I haven't bothered to change my reply, because I think it applies.)
I guess that begs the question, "What is the role of mythology in human cultures?" My answer is that mythology imparts truths about the human condition that a sentence or statement alone cannot. The mythology of death and resurrection that is told in the myths of many religions and cultures is one that I'm experiencing now.
In response to Dawkins' quote I'd say that evidence and mythology are not exclusive. Truth springs from both.
"And how do you reconcile John Paul's dictates on contraception and AIDS? He has directly condemned to a miserable death countless innocent people."
I can't reconcile it. I think it's an abomination and the new guy could prove worse.
"I do not mean to criticize but these two issues are so huge that I fail to understand how anyone can keep the faith after confronting them."
Faith is a relationship I have with a power far greater than the venal humans who present themselves as front men for the institution. Having said that, even the most misguided can display extraordinary compassion and goodness.
re: your May 4 post
"I am afraid I have to say that I find sinister Catholicism's power to literally absolve one from any wrong doing, therefore, one does not have to take responsibility for one's actions. I also do not understand how you can espouse a belief and then cherry-pick the parts that suit your life and discard the rest. Does 'the rest' not give the lie to the whole?"
I don’t experience the Catholicism practiced here in Santa Monica having the power to absolve one from any wrong doing or responsibility. I do hear the message that all mortals are all flawed; we can’t wallow in it; so get over it. The way to get over it is to admit it and then continue to practice the Golden Rule all the while taking joy and comfort in the understanding that we are loved unconditionally by a higher power.
As far as “cherry-picking”, I can’t loose sleep over that. I think it was the Dali Lama who said something to the effect: “If you can’t get through life doing good deeds, at the very least get through without hurting someone.” I take that as a starting place. If I find the strength to move forward and disengage from my own ego for long enough to recognize need around me, then attend to it, that’s a good thing. If a Christian ritual, a passage from Zorba the Greek, an AA meeting and the Adagio from Rachmaninoff’s 2nd Symphony combine to bring me to a place of loving spirit which I apply to my encounters with the rest of humanity, then that’s a good thing. I can’t let the injustice of incestuous Catholic politics deter me from the message that’s embodied in Jesus Christ.
Our Golden Rules are one in the same. By practicing it consciously, I'm able to get through the day knowing I may have done a small part in healing a wound or lifting someone above the muck. In the face of overwhelming desperation - the likes of which you describe so eloquently - living daily with respect for my fellow man is the most potent antidote and quite frankly about the only real effect I can have on the planet.
As you suggest, the elimination of the human species may well be the most benevolent act of a loving God if we continue to desecrate the planet. (It’s at moments like this I realize that in my faith system the words “fate” and “god” are interchangeable). And I don't find such an outcome ironic.