Torrance Memorial Hospital, where Dad spent his last nine days is staffed by health care workers who are caring, committed human beings. The nurses and paliative care staff live this transitional world day after day. Their non-intrusive guidance, sometimes subtle as a look, allowed me to work through decisions they witness daily.
Then, if Dad had not worked so diligently to make clear his wishes regarding life support, how long he would tolerate it, and under what conditions he'd tolerate it, those nine days and the weeks that have followed might have been tortuous.
When Mom died in 1999, Dad began drafting his advance directives. He put countless hours into it. He insisted I read each draft and file it away, destroying the previous so that it not superceed the latest version. I became angry, resistant, judgemental about how he was spending his time.
I wish I could apologize to him.
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