Letter to Elliot on His 21st Birthday
Dear Elliot,
Happy 21st Birthday. Today you can now engage in new activity – legally. You can get hammered in public establishments, piss away your money playing slot machines and buying stocks, and run for a seat in Parliament (provided you can pull off the accent).
Twenty-one years ago, I watched your birth with a depth of feeling unmatched. That night, as you made your entrance into the world, two distinct feelings washed over me. First, I was overcome by profound beauty; a deep primal sob jumped out of my throat. Then, I was overcome with a kind of regret and sadness knowing that you would experience pain in your life; I wanted to apologize for bringing you into an existence that would include suffering. Within seconds, these feelings and thoughts passed and for the next twenty-one years I’ve enjoyed the bliss you bring to my world. Thanks for being here.
Turning twenty-one is probably the last formal occasion in which another adult, welcome to the club by the way, can offer advice without seeming like a completely pompous ass. So here’s mine:
Keep following your heart, remaining alert to what you have to offer the universe. There’s only one Elliot; he’s spectacular; honor him with your attention and care. The goodness you bring to your life and others is inextricably connected to this honor you have and continue to create for yourself.
A full life is one of progress, not perfection. Be kind to yourself.
Aside from constructive reflection, let go of the past. Living in the past will rob you of precious life.
Aside from appropriate planning and strategizing, don’t squander life thinking about the future. Fear and its bastard offspring (stress, anxiety, and discontent) are signs that your awareness is “out there” in a distant fictional drama that will never materialize. Carpe diem, dude.
If you can develop the daily routine of pausing to acknowledge the beauty of each new day, the richness of your existence will be profound.
Surround yourself with people who are honest.
Surround yourself with people who actively question everything, especially themselves and authorities.
Surround yourself with people who seek out the truth. Beware those who claim to seek out the truth but can’t laugh at their imperfections.
Lastly, know that your life will include suffering. When emotional pain happens, your first instinct will be to avoid it. But don’t cover it up, don’t run from it or numb it out. Rather, make the conscious effort to question and learn about it - how did this happen? is there a self-defeating pattern I can change in my life? The depth of serenity and happiness that comes from this work will far outshine the original pain.
Oh yeah, and wear your helmet.
Love, Dad
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